Having assumptions challenged, people disagree and being questioned comes with leadership.
Are we handling challenges to build our leadership? Or undermine leadership?
Two groups are involved when we are questioned/challenged.
Person disagreeing/challenging/questioning.
Other employees are observing to see how challenge is met.
Will their questions be welcomed…or shot down.
Leaders have huge impact on perceptions.
3 leaders thoughts
Asked 3 leaders how they handled challenges from employees. Especially when employees held strong convictions.
“First time it occurred I didn’t know how to handle situation. Highly respected employee held opposite opinion and thought I was wrong. Employee had strong conviction and was not being quiet about them.”
“All I could think of. Ask him questions. Draw him out. Understand what part of project he was challenging. Turns out he felt whole project was doomed to failure. I asked him why he waited until now to bring up his objections” “Boss, I thought you had a logical reason. I waited to see it. I still can’t see it. Can’t stay quiet any longer.”
I really didn’t like his attitude or his viewpoint. I asked him what he thought we should do.
The employee presented a thoughtful alternative but had missed three key points. I asked how his plan addressed them. To his credit, he immediately recognized the omissions. Now he was embarrassed.
Suggested we take those 3 points and see if they could be worked into his proposal. They couldn’t. Looking at proposal, he had good points. They were better than we currently had. We adopted those.
End of 6 hour session I thanked him for challenging. Let him know we needed that input, perhaps a little sooner next time.
Employee and team saw that I was not judging him. I was encouraging. Open to feedback. He did not feel good, but felt validated in raising the issue. Other employees saw I encouraged challenge…presented well.
Second leader had situation that started the same. But employ just kept getting more upset and less open. “I cut meeting short. Obvious we were not going to get anything constructive done today. Like Jim’s example, this was valued employee. His attack and unwillingness to compromise was totally unlike him.”
Talked to others on team who did not see situation at all like teammate. But one indicated employee was going through some serious family health issues. That was tip I needed.
Next day I took employee out to lunch. We got away from offices. I flat out asked him what the hell was going on. He opened up about health issues that were tearing family up.” I asked him why he didn’t ask for few days off. He knew project was critical. Didn’t feel he could let team down. He was taking on way more than was reasonable. I gave him week off with option for more if family needed it.
“What did I learn as a leader?
When employee performance tails off I immediately think I’m not providing the right motivation.
This taught me to dig deeper. I could not and shouldn’t solve his family issue. I did need to make sure I understood what was happening. While I could not solve that issue, I could provide atmosphere so problem could be resolved.
I had grateful committed employee. Others saw I could be compassionate. Turns out, previously there was some speculation whether I was capable of compassion! That was shock to me.
Third leader chimed in. I inherited team. Turns out team leader did not believe in project. He was not openly sabotaging project. He just was not supporting it. He was always critical of smallest detail. Rest of team was picking up on it. Project was languishing. Team Leader was popular. Others were not willing to challenge him.
I asked him why he didn’t seem to care. He didn’t have an answer. Said he just could not get excited about direction Division was going. He didn’t see it making a difference. Asked how I could help change that. He said it was not me or the team, it was him. He felt he was with wrong company.
I talked to my mentor in the company and asked him if he had experienced this.
His advice to me. “Some people get into companies that don’t fit, or get put into positions that are misaligned. Only thing you can do is support their moving on. If been with company several years pick severance date few months out. Talk to employee and find out how you can best support their job search.”
I gave employee 3 months to find new job. Turns out he only needed 2 months. We parted on respectful terms.
To summarize: What’s most important
Create work culture where people feel free to air opinions.
Their future is not dependent on agreeing with leader.
Even when non-constructive, hear person out. Not just for them, but others who are observing.
Be curious. Anxious to hear other viewpoints.
Express appreciation for bringing issues up.
Employees look for and need consistency from leaders. Part of consistency is being open. Even to opinions that go against yours.
Care to share? We are collecting stories on best outcomes from employees who challenge or disagree. We are putting together leadership series for young leaders starting out.
Tom Ferree is the founder of Ferree & Associates and SecureEmploy, organizations focused on helping companies find exceptional talent and helping professionals advance their careers. Since founding Ferree & Associates in 1977, Tom has worked extensively with hospitality companies, executives, and rising leaders across the industry. Through SecureEmploy, he shares practical career strategies, leadership insights, and real-world advice to help professionals grow their careers and help organizations build stronger teams.
